I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
