jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Its about making memories worth repressing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
