Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's never too late to be topless.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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