She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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