Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
