do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
