YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Of course I have a pirate flag
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
