i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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