White coat. Heels.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
