I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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