The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
