so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if only i could text you this smell
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
