idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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