he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
