I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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