at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
