I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
