That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
