Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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