Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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