I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
