It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
