It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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