Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
