I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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