a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
