My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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