Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
