47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
