I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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