i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
