ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
