i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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