I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
