I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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