super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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