i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sext me about skeletons
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
