Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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