Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
