Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
