Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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