It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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