I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize