did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
