"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize