I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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