So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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