what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
