Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
