It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
