i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
