just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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