uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
