Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
