i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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