If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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