she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
