Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
