He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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