you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
